DeRP Ad Network

Monetize your website with products that don't exist.

The DeRP Ad Network is our award-winning* advertising platform that delivers rotating product placements for Definitely Real Products to websites across the internet. One script tag. Five formats. Zero real products.

Ads rotate weekly from our full product catalog via a public JSON API. Light and dark themes are included. No tracking. No cookies. No accountability whatsoever.

*Award pending. We submitted the application to ourselves and are cautiously optimistic.

Quick Start

  1. Add a container <div> where you want the ad to appear.
  2. Set data-format to choose an ad format (see below).
  3. Include the script. That's it. The ad network handles the rest.
<!-- Minimal integration --> <div id="derp-ad" data-format="banner"></div> <script src="https://definitelyrealproducts.com/ads/derp-ads.js"></script>
<!-- Multiple ads on one page --> <div data-derp-ad data-format="banner" data-theme="light"></div> <div data-derp-ad data-format="card" data-theme="dark"></div> <script src="https://definitelyrealproducts.com/ads/derp-ads.js"></script>

Configuration

Attribute Values Default Description
id="derp-ad" Single ad per page. The script finds this element automatically.
data-derp-ad Multiple ads per page. Add this attribute to each container.
data-format banner card skyscraper marquee ticker banner Ad format. See live previews below.
data-theme dark light dark Color theme. Dark suits dark backgrounds; light suits, well, light ones.

Live Preview — Banner (728×90)

Animated 3-frame horizontal ad. Cycles through intro, product, and CTA.

Dark Theme

Light Theme

<div data-derp-ad data-format="banner"></div>

Live Preview — Card (300px)

Compact product card. Works in sidebars, footers, or inline content.

Dark Theme

Light Theme

<div data-derp-ad data-format="card"></div>

Live Preview — Skyscraper (260×650)

Tall sidebar showcase with twinkling stars and pulsing CTA.

Dark Theme

Light Theme

<div data-derp-ad data-format="skyscraper"></div>

Live Preview — Marquee

Compact announcement strip. Good for headers and footers.

Dark Theme

Light Theme

<div data-derp-ad data-format="marquee"></div>

Live Preview — Ticker

Scrolling news ticker. Continuous horizontal scroll with product rotation.

Dark Theme

Light Theme

<div data-derp-ad data-format="ticker"></div>

API Reference

The ad SDK fetches product data from our public JSON API. You can also hit this endpoint directly if you want to build your own integration, render ads server-side, or just stare at the data in quiet disbelief.

Endpoint

GET https://definitelyrealproducts.com/api/products.json

Response

{ "products": [ { "id": "carpets", "name": "CARPETS", "tagline": "Pets for your car. Now in 3 breeds.", "description": "The world's first automotive companion...", "link": "https://definitelyrealproducts.com/carpets/", "colorAccent": "#007799", "est": 1997, "cta": "ADOPT TODAY" } // ... more products ], "epoch": 1738368000000 // weekly rotation start date }

Fields

Field Type Description
id string URL-safe product identifier
name string Product display name (uppercase)
tagline string Short marketing copy
description string Full product description
link string Absolute URL to the product page
colorAccent string Hex color for product name styling
est number Year the product was “established”
cta string Call-to-action button text
epoch number Unix timestamp (ms). Weekly rotation calculates from this date.

Weekly Rotation

The SDK calculates which product to display using the epoch timestamp. Every 7 days, the featured product advances to the next item in the array. All sites using the SDK show the same product during any given week, creating a shared illusion of coordinated advertising.

// How the SDK selects the weekly product var MS_PER_WEEK = 7 * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000; var weeksSinceEpoch = Math.floor((Date.now() - epoch) / MS_PER_WEEK); var index = weeksSinceEpoch % products.length;

CORS & Caching

The API returns Access-Control-Allow-Origin: * so you can fetch it from any domain. The product list is static and changes only when we add new products, which happens whenever our R&D department has a breakthrough or an accident (often the same event).

Network Stats

5
Ad Formats
2
Themes
0
Cookies
0
Trackers
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