*** WARNING: THIS PRODUCT HATES YOU ***

THE MAGIC HATE BALL

It has opinions. All of them are hostile.

You were warned.

Current Rage Level

Go ahead. Shake it. See what happens.

8

Victim Testimonials

"I asked if I'd get the promotion. It called me a disappointment to my ancestors. 5 stars."

— Gary, still hasn't recovered

"It told my wife the truth. We are now divorced. The ball was right though."

— Keith, formerly of Kent

"I only asked it one question and it told me to leave. I was in my own house."

— Sandra, now lives in a shed

"It somehow insulted me in a language I don't even speak."

— Thierry, refuses to elaborate

ORDER NOW (IT DARES YOU)
The Magic Hate Ball™ — A Definitely Real Products Inc. product
"We asked it to write this tagline. It refused."

The Magic Hate Ball is not responsible for emotional damage, existential crises, or any divorces that occur as a direct result of shaking it. The ball's opinions are its own and do not reflect those of Definitely Real Products Inc. (though privately we agree with most of them). Do not shake more than 8 times per hour. You know what happens.

Hostility Engine · In Motion

Watch it work.

Shake it — though you were warned not to. It returns one of twenty answers, all hostile and none of them wrong. It tells you exactly what it thinks of you, then something worse. Shaking only makes it angrier. It did not want to be touched.

*** YOU WERE WARNED ***